Sleepy

When I was a kid, I had a hard time sleeping. It may have started when I first learned to read and sat up hours after bedtime in front of my night-light practicing my new craft. But what started as an exciting and devious sneak from my parents, ended up being a bit of a burden. As I got older, I found I couldn’t sleep in those twilight hours even if I wanted to. Sometimes I would still read, or get up and do something else, but for the most part, since I actually wanted to sleep, I would just lie there, for hours sometimes, staring at my digital clock. Most of the time I just let my mind wander. This most frequently led to worrying, planning and running through possible scenarios for whatever events were in my immediate future. sometimes I would play number games with the numbers in whatever time it was. This generally involved using simple mathematic functions to get to 10 or as many Prime Numbers as I could, etc.
I thought this insomnia ended when my childhood did, but lately, it seems to have returned. And I think what it boils down to is how much I do in a day. I’ve been rather idle of late, and it occurs to me that the last time I had this little to do was when I was young. I think I have to exhaust myself or come damn close in order to fall asleep within an hour of hitting the pillow.
This, of course, is strictly in regards to falling asleep naturally. I have discovered a handful a surefire sleeping aids over the years, but I have always found that I don’t quite get my nap out when I use them. I have a harder time waking and I don’t feel as refreshed. In ever thought I’d say it, but I’m thinking of getting a job just to give me something else to do during the day. It’s either that or start taking fencing and Thai cooking classes at the local community center. But that’s no way to make the money last. I think there’s a part of me – most likely acquired from Papa – that has secretly always enjoyed making money as spending it. But my favorite part of me likes to do neither.